How to Say Good-bye to Your Dog

Last month we discussed how to tell when it's time to say good bye to your aged or ill dog. Although we'd all like to hope that our dogs will pass gently in their sleep, that doesn't always happen.

If you're ever faced with this situation, here are a few tips to help you deal with this stressful and sad event.

Have the veterinarian explain the full process and procedure to you

Make sure you understand what the vet will do. You need to be assured that the procedure will be painless and swift for your dog - as it will be.

Find out how much it will cost and what it covers.

Decide what you want done with the dog's body

Ask the vet how he normally deals with the dog's body. You may want to bury or cremate your dog, and you should arrange this ahead of time with your vet. Your community may have rules or laws regulating how or what can be done.

If your vet doesn't offer cremation, he should be able to recommend a service provider.

Many communities now have pet cemeteries. You may want to take this route or have your dog cremated and the ashes given to you in a memorial urn.

Consider creating a memorial for your dog

You may want to create a scrapbook of your dog and have the entire family contribute to it. Or, you may want to have a memorial stone or plaque. Another option is a framed picture of your dog with a commercial or personalized poem.

These options do not have to be expensive. You can make anyone of these yourself or buy very nice memorials at
Wal-Mart on http://www.walmart.com.

You can do this in conjunction with a memorial service for your dog if all family members could not or did not want to be present when the dog passed.

Decide where you want this done and who will be there

Some vets are willing to come to the owner's home while others will only do this at their office or animal hospital.

You'll have to decide if you want to be there alone or if other family or friends should attend. Again, your vet may have restrictions about this so don't wait until the last minute to discuss this.

Explain what is going to happen to all the family members, even the children

Describe the dog's problems and the rationale to euthanize your dog.

In a mistaken attempt to protect children, adults sometimes try to hide this from them. If you are calm about this, you should explain what's going to happen to your children assuming they're at least 5-years of age or older.

Explain to all the family why it is time to let your dog go. You don't need to be embarrassed about discussing the costs and effort involved in maintaining a very ill dog. This is real life and something your children need to understand.

It's likely children will overhear things and certainly will sense the grief in the adults as well as wondering what's happened to the dog. Keeping them in the dark will only prolong their grieving and add to their trauma.

Don't be surprised if some family or friends don't agree with your decision. Everyone is entitled to his opinion but this decision is yours and you shouldn't stress over what other people think. They aren't the ones taking responsibility.

Decide how you will say good-bye

You may want a last evening at home with your dog and family or a visit to the dog in the animal hospital. Family members who want to be alone with the dog should be allowed to do so.

Give yourself and your family permission to grieve

You may sit in your vet's office and sob for awhile. That's perfectly normal and acceptable. Don't try to be brave or think it's irrational to be so sad about a dog.

It's normal to grieve when we lose a beloved companion. Allow yourself time to recover.

You also may experience guilt or anxiety about your decision. Don't second-guess yourself. It's easy to think if, if, if (if we'd found this sooner, if I'd had more money, if we lived in another place ....) but it is what it is. Focus on the happy memories of your dog.

Finally, don't rush into getting another dog

Give yourself time to grieve. Getting another dog for the wrong reasons puts pressure on the dog to live up to your expectations and satisfy emotional needs that are beyond a dog's ability.

All the family should be in agreement that it's time for a new dog before you get one. Don't "surprise" someone with a new dog that they may not be emotionally ready to deal with.

Although you can never replace the dog you lost, you can share your life with another one. Just be sure the time is right.


P.S. Visit http://www.ToyBreeds.com next month for a new edition of the Bone-Mot™.